Category: Glory

An Encounter with a Warrior

Posted on by Dorci

After a week in the hospital and another at an inpatient rehab facility, I was dealing pretty well with all the affects of having had a stroke, especially considering the hospital had over-medicated me, causing my blood pressure to drop too much too fast, which then caused that damaged area in the left side of my brain to grow larger and my weakness to worsen. 

I’d seen countless doctors, nurses, nursing assistants, physical therapists, occupational therapists…  So many professionals. And they were good, well, most of them. They helped get me, literally, back on my feet. 

Through it all I’d had not only His peace that passed all understanding, but His joy, and I knew that was the Lord answering all the prayers from so many precious brothers and sisters in Christ. I can never thank them enough.

I could see the Lord’s hand in so many ways. From my sister, who alerted me that she thought I was having a stroke when that was the furthest thought from my mind, to the hospital where I was told I had a rare room with a view of trees and the sounds of birds singing. 

And then at the rehab I was given another room that was apparently so much bigger and nicer than all the others that almost every employee who came in was amazed by it, one even asking who I knew in order to get such a room. I’ll tell ya Who!

And later the Lord would show me even the over-medication was allowed by Him. That if I’d gone home when I was originally supposed to, my blood pressure would have come down even more, making the stroke and its affects that much worse.

Then a couple of days before I was scheduled to be discharged, the OT overseeing my case came to my room to give me her evaluation and what I could expect in the future. 

I still could not move my foot or toes at all, not even a little bit, thanks to that over-medication I mentioned. She told me there’s always hope, but she didn’t think I’d be able to move my foot again. 

Stroke in the left side of the brain means right-sided weakness. My right foot. My driving foot.  And for the first time in a little over two weeks, I became distraught, depressed, hopeless. 

The following morning I clashed with the doctor over medication, and that was it. I broke.

I lay there alone, sobbing. 

A woman from housekeeping came in to clean the room, and I tried to pull myself together as she mopped the floor. 

Very kindly she asked why I was there. I told her I’d had a stroke. Her eyes got wide as she said she’d never seen someone so young (ha!) who’d had a stroke, that she thought I’d had some kind of surgery. 

As much as I tried, I couldn’t completely hide the fact that I’d been crying, and that I was still near tears. 

And then the Lord began to speak through her the words I needed to hear. 

“God is with you! He is right here with you, and He’s going to be with you!”

My spirit engaged once again and the tears flowed down my face. My head bowed and nodded in agreement as she continued.

“Sometimes the Lord allows things to happen in order to show His power through us!” 

Right then and there, in that room, I had church. The Lord had brought my own preacher, clad in the power of the armor of God who wielded the sword of the Spirit like a warrior and chased away that stinking rotten enemy.

From the depths of my heart I agreed.  

When she left I was no longer distraught or hopeless, but filled with the joy of the Lord once again.  

With all those professionals I’d seen, it was Libby, a woman from housekeeping, but more so a woman filled with the Holy Spirit, who became my champion and the one who’d lifted my spirit, who’d raised my countenance, who’d helped me back to my feet. 

“So whether you eat or drink
or whatever you do,
do it all for the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31


We need to let go of the thinking that we have to be or do something the world calls “important” in order to be used by God. 

The Lord used fishermen, shepherds, children, a cupbearer. In the world they were overlooked, but in the eyes of God they were deeply loved and chosen to do His will. 

I will never forget Libby or what she did for me that day. She brought her love for the Lord to work with her, and though she had no idea what my feelings about God were, she didn’t hesitate to speak His name, to remind me of the truth, giving Him glory and bringing me back to life. 

I went home two days later, and two days after that my toes began to move. Soon after, my foot. I’m still working on strengthening the muscles, and still waiting for the day when I can drive again, but God’s brought me this far and I know He’ll take me as far as He wants me to go. 

With Him, nothing is impossible. 

For His glory,

 

Sounds of the Cross

Posted on by Dorci

“Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed Him in a purple robe and went up to Him again and again, saying, ‘Hail, king of the Jews!’ And they slapped Him in the face.

As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, ‘Crucify! Crucify!'”
John 19:1-3

 

Walking Through Holy Week – 6

Posted on by Dorci

“While He was still speaking a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss Him, but Jesus asked Him, ‘Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?’

When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, ‘Lord, should we strike with our swords?’  And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear.

But Jesus answered, ‘No more of this!’ And He touched the man’s ear and healed him.”
Luke 22:47-51

Walking Through Holy Week – 3

Posted on by Dorci

“After Jesus said this, He looked toward heaven and prayed:

‘Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. For you granted Him authority over all people that He might give eternal life to all those you have given Him. Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.’”
John 17:1-5

To Gaze Upon the King

Posted on by Dorci

I’d like to repost one more piece for you, this one from December 2015. I pray you and your loved ones have a very Merry Christmas as we celebrate the birth of the beloved Child, the Savior, the King.  

***

Oh dear ones, loved so greatly by God, can I ask you to, for just a moment, lay down your tape and scissors?  To take your eyes away from the Christmas movies and your ears from the holiday music?

Can I ask you to come take a journey with me?  We are going to see a King.

There is a little, ancient town full of people who have come to be counted in the census.  All the rooms are full, too.

There is a very young woman who is about ready to give birth.  She and her husband have come a long way and she looks tired and uncomfortable. Her labor pains have begun.

“The barn is available,” they’re told.

Humbly, they make their way to the stable.  He tries to make her comfortable with a bed of hay as the animals make room for a royal guest.

She gives birth and the pain is soon forgotten as joy overwhelms her.  He is perfect in every way.  They gaze upon their miracle child, the one given to them by God Himself.  There is a feeding trough, and he makes a bed for this tiny baby.  The stars are shining on this most special of nights.

Meanwhile, out in the nearby fields, men who only a moment ago were tending sheep now stand in shock and fear as a glorious and heavenly light shines around them and an angel of the Lord appears to them and says,

“Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

The shepherds are barely able to take it in when a whole host of angels appears, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

They grab their staffs and run to the place where this Savior, this long-awaited Messiah has been born.  He is beautiful and they can hardly believe it.  They have seen the great Shepherd.

Room has been made for this little family of three.  They wonder what the future holds in and through this new and precious life.

Sometime later, other worshippers make their way from the east.  A star has led some wise men on a journey.  It’s been long and dusty, but they’ve been moved by something, Someone, beyond them to make it.  They’ve brought gifts suitable to present to royalty: gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Gold for a King, but not just any king.  A King who has chosen to strip Himself of His heavenly robes and crown and become like us.

Frankincense, symbolizing His priesthood, one that would never end.

Myrrh for embalming, for one day in the not-too-distant future, this King will die for the sins of the world.

The star that led them from so far away has stopped directly over the house where the King lay.  They step inside and bow before Him and worship Him.  They present their gifts, and Mary and Joseph continue to marvel at God’s love, His miracles and His glory.

The world looks different to them now.  Suddenly it is filled with hope and love and promise.  Under the light of the stars was the Light of the world. Salvation was here.

This, they knew, was no ordinary child.

This was a King.

Sunday Praise and a Prayer the Lord Will Be Glorified

Posted on by Dorci

Dear Heavenly Father, we praise You. We praise Your magnificence, Your glory, Your righteousness. You and You alone are God and You hold us, with grace, in the palm of Your hand. 

You have blessed us mightily over the centuries, providing for us in countless ways, teaching us and leading us out of sin, pouring out Your Holy Spirit for revivals, saving lost souls, and letting the light of your truth shine throughout this country. 

And in many ways we have taken so much of it for granted. We have taken the glory for ourselves instead of acknowledging You, instead of thanking You for giving us wisdom, strength, and the freedom to prosper, and the victory we’ve needed, over and over, to remain free.

Instead of acknowledging that it’s You who has allowed us to remain a nation with freedoms we enjoy every day and praising and thanking you for it, we have let the freedoms You’ve given us lead us into the bondage of sin, calling evil good and good evil.  

Father, we humbly ask for your forgiveness. 

You are a God of great grace and mercy, and we know your heart’s desire is that we repent and turn to You to live rightly because You know sin hurts and destroys us. You know what we need to turn back to you, and sometimes that is suffering.

Father, may we turn to you quickly. For those who know You, may we boldly and without fear proclaim Your name, glorifying You with grateful and loving hearts that we may be salt and light to the world around us.

Please pour out your Holy Spirit for revival again, to soften hearts and open the spiritual eyes of those who are lost and those who are backslidden so they will turn to You in repentance, acknowledging and receiving You as Lord, glorifying and praising You, so we can be one nation, united, under Your grace, protection, and blessing. 

Our hope is in You.

In Jesus’ holy and precious name we pray, amen.

 

Don’t Give Up!

Posted on by Dorci

A lot of Christians have given up on church.  Many have been hurt by the church; many feel like it’s a waste of time, that they’re not learning anything anyway; and many believe their faith is strictly between them and God so they don’t need church.

I get it.  I get all of those. 

And I’ve read a lot of reasons why we should go to church.

But I want to tell you why we must go. Why we need to go.

When I read in Isaiah 53 that the Messiah, the Christ, the Savior of the world, Jesus, is “despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief,” I understand. Granted, to a far lesser degree, but I understand living a life like that. I fully understand living a life of rejection and sorrow, and I understand grief being a very close acquaintance.

By the time I came to know Jesus as my Savior when I was 26, I had already lived a lifetime, a very long and painful one. I knew Grief better than anything else, including love. 

And for the next 14 years after I was saved and going to church, I knew God loved me, but God knew much of that was head knowledge. He knew Grief was still a closer acquaintance. And, oddly enough, He was about to increase the pain.

And yes, I know that doesn’t sound very appealing, but His plan was something far greater than I could have anticipated.

So for the next 15 years, through sickness and so many things that can come with it, I became even more acquainted with Grief, yet, at the same time more acquainted with the God of love in that grief.

Because that description of the Savior in Isaiah is not of a God in the heavens, far-removed or oblivious to our human suffering. He is not a God who is unfeeling or detached. In fact, the letter to the Hebrews tells us that “we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.”  (Hebrews 4:15)

This is a God-Man who understands my pain.

He is a God who is “near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”  (Psalm 34:18)

That word contrite means “crushed (literally powder, or figuratively contrite): – contrite, destruction.” And the root word of contrite is daka which means “to crumble; to bruise, to beat to pieces, break in pieces, destroy, humble, oppress, smite.”

Brokenhearted. Reduced to powder. Crumbled, bruised, beaten to pieces.  Yeah, I understand that.  Maybe you do, too. But in my brokenness God was closer to me than I could have imagined. He was faithful to not only keep my faith in tact, but to grow it.

Still, during this 15 year period, being attacked from within and without, with no understandable cause or reason, led me to desperately need to feel God’s love. I needed it to move that impossibly long distance from my head to my heart.  I needed it to become my beloved companion in place of the old acquaintance.

Since salvation I’d settled for the belief that love was as close to me as it would ever get, and knowing Christ as my Savior, it was indeed closer than it ever was before. I had been content with the head knowledge, but the increased pain and suffering meant the head knowledge wasn’t enough anymore. I needed to feel God’s love.

So I began to pray just that – that God would let me feel His love. It wasn’t just a desire or a hope, but a need.  I needed His love to survive.  I needed Love to knock grief to the ground and live with me as my constant, Beloved Companion. 

I prayed and prayed that prayer over the course of several months. 

And gradually God began to lay on my heart “…if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36)  More and more those words filled my mind, and honestly, I didn’t connect them with my prayer at all.  I believed God was going to do something, but I thought maybe it had to do with a family member or a friend.

During this same time I started going to a women’s Bible study at our church.  I hadn’t been to one in years and I was excited to connect with women over the study of God’s Word again. 

After every Bible study I’d drive home and catch myself smiling and full of joy.  These women were so kind, so loving and accepting, and they had no idea they were being used by God to answer my prayers.  They just loved Jesus and because of that, they loved me. 

And then one day, as I stood there talking and waiting for the study to start, two of the women walked in with bunch of flowers for my birthday, and the group sang Happy Birthday.  That was the day grief (and his buddies rejection and sorrow) took a backseat to Love.  

God did a miraculous work of forgiveness in my heart, and suddenly the past was in the past. Both my mind and my heart were renewed, and I felt like a new, new creation.

Jesus used those precious women to show me how much He loved me, and bring to life in my heart those words “…if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”  And so I was.

That is why the letter to the Hebrews goes on to exhort all of us “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  (Hebrews 10:24-25)

God has built into us a need to gather together with other believers to meet spiritual needs. That’s the way He’s chosen to operate in and through our lives. But when we don’t fulfill that need in the highest, God-given way, we find a million other counterfeit ways of trying to fill that need to meet together as friends, even as friends close enough to consider themselves family – social media, causes, clubs, bars, stadiums, gangs. But they will always leave us unsatisfied and unfulfilled.

We need each other. But we need to feed our souls and our faith, not just our flesh. We need a setting with other Jesus-loving, Spirit-filled believers, our family in the faith, to love us (and us, them), to encourage one another in our daily walks with Christ, to keep us focused and moving into an even deeper walk with Him, the Savior of our souls, the one who understands our pain, and is there again and again to rescue us, to heal us, even more than we can imagine. And with our ever-renewing hearts, glorify Him with the good works He’s prepared for us to do. And the darker it gets out there, the more we need it. 

Now, does that mean my life is perfect? No. Grief doesn’t like to be knocked down, and when it’s found a comfy place to live for a long time it doesn’t give up that place easily (and satan doesn’t like it a whole lot either).

It tries to get up, again and again, and that’s why I need to keep going back, to be surrounded by my brothers and sisters in Christ, and encourage one another in love so we can then take that love on the road with good deeds, like my Jesus-loving friends did. Their love and good deeds in Christ changed a life, glorifying Him, and that’s what this life is all about.

And yes, I know it’s not always easy to find a Spirit-filled, Bible-believing/teaching church. Political correctness and a desire to be liked, among other things, don’t stop at the front door of every church.

Just pray. God knows your heart and He will answer your prayers for a body of believers who worship in Spirit and in Truth, a body that will accept you in the love of Christ.

Don’t give up.  We need you. 

* * *

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the body of Christ, the family you’ve given us where your love and joy can come alive, where we can join hearts and worship you in spirit and in truth. I pray for each person reading this. For those who need a good spiritual home, I pray you would lead them to one. I pray you would remove any fears, grant forgiveness for past pains, and help them to step out in faith. For those who have one, I pray you would use them in the church homes you’ve placed them to show your love in tangible, Christ-honoring ways. For churches who may be a little stuffy and not used to acts of love, oh Lord, may you fill them with your Spirit, and lead them to a better way, where giving and receiving your love is as common as breathing. May you bring revival in the Body, and throughout the world.  In Jesus’ holy and precious name I pray, amen. 

Treasure Hunting

Posted on by Dorci

This time of year we start seeing and hearing scripture about the birth of Jesus, and if we’ve been a believer long enough, or even alive long enough, they’re probably all words we’ve heard before…

 “And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.” Luke 2:7

“Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.  For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” Luke 2:8-12

As beautiful as those words are, as amazing and miraculous as those events were and what they still mean for us today, we might start thinking we’ve heard it all before and there’s nothing new to learn. 

But that’s the amazing thing about God’s Word – it is chock full of buried treasure just waiting to be uncovered. 

Rabbi Jason Sobel gives us an amazing jewel that I’d never heard before about Jesus’s birth and the significance of being wrapped in swaddling cloths.

The series Rabbi Sobel refers to – The Chosen – is an amazingly well-done show that portrays the life of Jesus and how He radically changed those who encountered Him. 

I can relate.

Life is hard and I need God’s treasure, the seen and unseen. The treasure left for me in plain sight and the deeper, buried treasure that can only be found by those who are willing to hunker down and dig deep.

More than ever I want to go treasure hunting in the coming year. I want to continue encountering Jesus in new and precious ways so He can continue molding me into the person only He can make me to be.

I hope you come with me as we seek Him and His treasure together.

 

Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of your Son.  Please lead us in the coming year as we seek to know you on an ever-deepening level. Change us into the men and women you desire us to be, and may we bring you glory as we follow you.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

 

Are We Really Living a Christian Life?

Posted on by Dorci

I am so blessed to be able to sit in church on Sunday and worship the Lord with some beautifully composed music and be fed by pastors who love the Lord greatly and study hard to bring us Bible-based sound teaching. During the week there’s a Bible study and home groups. My social media page is full of pastors and messages that remind me about God’s truths. I have at least 15 Bibles in several translations, and more faith-based books than I will probably ever be able to finish.  On the internet I have access to teachings from some of the most gifted pastors and teachers from all over the world, countless commentaries, uplifting Christian music…

And I wonder how many other people are doing the very same thing Sunday after Sunday, week after week.

We are deluged with messages from and for believers of every type, for every situation, every level of faith, and every age.

So why does the church, at least here in America, seem more anemic and ineffective than ever?

Why do we live our lives largely indistinguishable from the world?

Why do we get up in the morning and still feel like we’re being sucked under the trials of life, wondering where the joy is we’re supposed to be experiencing? Why we’re not feeling like an overcomer? Why we aren’t living that life Jesus talked about when He said:

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly”
(John 10:10)

That question has a lot of answers, but I want to tackle just one right now.  Could it be the thief is still working hard to steal, kill, and destroy as much of that abundant life as he can, and maybe he’s using busyness, even “Christian” busyness, to do it?

Could it be that we have so much all around us that we are kidding ourselves into thinking we’re living a Christian life that would lead to abundance without really living it?

Maybe all the doing – sitting in a seat on Sundays, singing along, having a Bible (and maybe even opening up from time to time), maybe listening to a Christian song every now and then or even reading a faith-based book, is causing us to think we’re accomplishing something.

But maybe all it’s become, if done in the flesh, in our own strength, is nothing more than a rote religion, or just another sort of self-help.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”
(Galatians 5:22)

Jesus came to give us life, and when He went back to the Father He gave us His Holy Spirit to bring about the abundant life we desire and Christ died to give us.

All those things – the teachings, the worship (the music is not a warm-up concert for the pastor!), the studies, the reading, are all meant to draw us closer to Jesus as we walk through them with the Holy Spirit. He is the power in our lives. He will bring about the abundant life we all so desperately want.

We’re on a journey with Him to know God and love Him more, to grow in faith, not to just put in our time on Sunday morning. Walking with Him is not just part of our life, it IS our life.

God desires to do so much in our hearts, our minds, and in and through our lives, and He wants us to partner with Him – to seek Him, to know Him, to love Him – as we do those things.

Do we pray before going to church, asking and fully expecting to hear from God, to receive from Him what He wants to say to us? Do we use the time we sing together to truly worship the Lord, to enter into the throne room of God and praise and exalt Him and let Him prepare our hearts for His message? Do we pray for our pastors during the week, that He will speak to them as they prepare the teaching, and that He will speak through them on Sunday morning? Do we pray before reading God’s Word or other books, or before listening to teachings online?

Do we pray without ceasing, inviting the Holy Spirit to speak to us and change us through those things?

Are we, the branches, clinging to the Vine, allowing Him to use all those things as nourishment for our souls, bringing its fruit in His time?

What all those things are meant to do, what they should do, is draw us closer to Jesus, reminding us of His love and grace and mercy so that we will continue reaching out to Him, reading and studying His Word and praying, inviting Him into every aspect of our lives. Inviting Him to leave no sin-stone unturned in the sanctifying of our souls. Inviting Him into every bit of suffering, every attitude, every decision, every joy.

Oh Church, we must leave the dead religion behind and get back to a living, breathing relationship with the One who died to bring us abundant life – to mold us into His image, to bring about the godly treasures we could never find in the world if we looked forever, and to be a light to the world.

Can you imagine if we invited the power of God into our lives every single day? If we let the Holy Spirit continually have His way in and through us?

If He changed the world with 12 men, what could He do with a nation full of Spirit-filled, God-fearing, mercy-loving believers?

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
(Ephesians 3:20-21)

.

Heavenly Father, thank you for not only giving us your Holy Spirit to be with us, but to indwell us.  He is an amazing gift and we are so grateful. Help us to always walk in the Spirit, to breathe and live and grow and speak in the Spirit. Help us to cling to you through Him so that He might produce the fruit and gifts in our hearts and lives that you desire so that we, as your church, your kingdom, can be effective witnesses and bright lights to the world around us that’s so dark and seems to get darker every day. Help us to have wisdom and discernment to know how to live in this world, but not to be of it.  Help us to glorify and magnify the name of Jesus.  It’s in His precious name we pray, amen. 

My Mother’s Journey

Posted on by Dorci

The following is an update on my mother and her life since I wrote my original testimony.

***

There are lyrics that sometimes come to mind when I think of my mother – “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger…”

My mother tried to maintain some sense of normalcy in my early childhood. I see pictures of her looking radiant and beautiful on their wedding day, and she worked with the Phoenix Mountains Preservation Council and led our Girl Scout troop. 

At the same time she looked like an active, productive woman, wife, and mother, she was also playing with ouija boards, tarot cards, and seeing things none of the rest of us saw.  Her mind and personality began to change, or perhaps be revealed. At some point her health began to decline, and her past collided with the spiritual darkness she dabbled in, and it all came back to haunt her, and all of us. 

As a child, though, all I knew was my mother didn’t love me. By the time I was 17 and left home at her request, irreversible damage had been done to our whole family.

After I was saved several years later, I tried desperately to have some kind of relationship with her. I prayed for her salvation. I invited her to church and to a women’s retreat. But it always went horribly, painfully wrong. And I knew if I was ever going to have a chance to heal, I was going to have to let go of my desire to have a relationship with my mother. That dream would have to remain a dream. And so it was.

My mother had always agonized over tragedies she’d endured as a child, a teenager, and a young adult, but it was not that long ago that one of her sisters told me that as a child my mother had once purposely jumped in front of car. Something had been wrong for a long time, maybe from the womb. I do know she held a lot of pain inside her mind and heart. 

The longer I lived the more I came to understand the effect all that pain could have on a person, especially when that person doesn’t know Christ. And the more I walked with Christ, the more He gave me the ability to forgive her. And the more I was able to forgive her, and He began to heal my own mind and heart and fill them with His grace and mercy, the more empathy I had for my mother.

Then one early morning I got a call from my sister saying our mother’s health was severely declining, that she probably wouldn’t be with us much longer, and did I want to go see her? I opened God’s Word and prayed about it over the next hour or so, asking Him to speak to my heart and show me what to do. His still, small voice prompted me to go. 

We visited her in the assisted living place she now called home.  I sat on her bed in front of her with my new mind and new heart, and told her I loved her. She laid there and looked me in the eyes with a slight smile on her face. What little she did try to say my sister had to interpret.  I held her hand and we just looked at each other. She wasn’t throwing things, screaming, or calling me names. She was looking at me with love in her eyes. We were able to communicate a bit, and had a picture taken of the three of us. That day was the only good memory I have of my mother, and I am grateful the Lord allowed me to have it.

Though in the past she’d claimed to be a Christian, I never saw any fruit of it, so I continued to pray the Lord would have mercy on her. He knew the truth, whether she had ever been converted or not, and I trusted Him to do what needed to be done for the salvation of her soul. 

I was able to make a couple more trips to see her, once while her eyes were still open, and again after she’d slipped into unconsciousness. Still, I knew my God wasn’t limited to our state of awareness of this world, and I continued to pray.  I prayed the Lord would not let her go until she had received Him as Lord and Savior and was filled with the redeeming, sealing, promised Holy Spirit.

The nurses said she didn’t have much longer, yet she continued to live, and I continued to pray.  A trained hospice worker said she probably wouldn’t live more than 24 hours, yet she continued to live, and I continued to pray. Wherever her mind and heart were in this state, Jesus was there.  And maybe He had her attention more during that time than ever before. Over the next week I kept praying for mercy, for grace, and for saving faith to fill her. And then one day, she was gone.  

Only God knows what happened in those twilight hours, but I am trusting He heard my prayers.

And I am trusting that one day we will all be together again, perfected in Christ and filled with love for one another the way we were always meant to be, basking in the joy of Christ forever and ever.

For His Glory,