My Dad’s Journey to Belief

I thought I’d write an update about what God did for each of my parents in the years since I wrote my testimony.  I’ll start with my dad.

***

My dad wasn’t sick a day in his life.  Well, not in the physical sense.  I don’t remember him ever having a cold or a stomach bug.  Nothing.  But there was something hidden deep inside him, something even he would later be hard-pressed to articulate, that made him turn to alcohol.  I do know that he had a quiet, expressive soul, and that combination is a hard one to deal with.

Most days of my childhood I could smell the alcohol on him, except for the days he didn’t come home.  Still, he was kind and willing to listen when I needed someone to talk to.

I left home a month or two after high school graduation. The next time I saw my dad a couple of months later he had aged more than I thought he should have. After that I didn’t see much of my parents for a number of years until after their divorce, and I was able to talk to my dad again.

When I became a Christian, I wanted more than anything for my family members to be saved and our family restored. I thought about it, I hoped for it, I prayed about it. 

Sometime while I was away, my dad quit drinking.  He’d had an experience that frightened him and made him stop.  So without the alcohol, and without my mother, we were able to reconnect.

Both of us being chatterboxes, we’d talk on the phone for long stretches at a time.  We’d theorize and philosophize about everything under the sun.  And every now and then I’d try to work into the conversation my very favorite topic – Jesus. 

My dad would be struggling with something and I’d tell him about the One who knows how to untangle life’s messes.  He’d be hard-pressed to understand something else and I’d tell him about the One who gives peace.

I ‘d talk to him about salvation, I wrote him long notes explaining the way to salvation, and his answer was always the same: “I’m trying.”

I’d tell him “Dad, you don’t have to try, just believe in Jesus.”  Still, salvation hung in the air, ungrasped, year after year.  And during those prayers I lifted up for my dad, the Lord would sometimes speak in that still, small voice, letting me know that it wouldn’t be until just before his death that he would finally receive Him.

A few years later I got a call from my aunt letting me know my dad was sick.  The worst kind of sick.  He hadn’t wanted to tell anyone for fear they’d look at him or treat him differently.  I called my dad and we had a hard conversation. He continued to work until it was impossible.

It was May, and I got another call from my aunt letting me know Dad was in the hospital.  I rushed there, day after day, and sat next to him, holding his hand. His mind was already starting to go.  He didn’t know where he was or even what year it was. I kept praying and had others praying, too.

One morning someone called, I can’t remember who, to say he’d had some kind of seizure, or something. Our assistant pastor and his wife, our dear friends, graciously met me at the hospital.

There were no more seizures, and the funny thing was, he now knew what year it was. Pastor T went in to talk with him and when he came back out sometime later, he said he’d asked my dad if he wanted to pray to receive Jesus, and my dad said yes. Grasped.

Almost immediately after that, he was a candidate for hospice.  One never knows if a hospice bed is going to become available, and if so, how long it will take.  But one opened up almost immediately, and the one God chose was perfect.

It was in a home with a beautiful garden. If there was anything my dad loved, it was gardening.  He loved the soil (don’t call it dirt!), he loved earthworms, he loved planting.  We used to say that once he was able to retire from civil service he should work at a nursery. He would have loved it.

My family, my sister and her family, and my aunt, uncle and cousin sat outside among the gardens eating together for Memorial Day while the hospice workers looked after Dad. We wished so much he could have enjoyed the beauty with us.

The next morning I got a call at 6 am from one of the hospice workers saying he probably didn’t have much longer.  I quickly dressed and drove the several miles to get there. 

I walked into the room and my cousin was standing by his bed, telling me he had just passed. His beautiful blue, tear-filled eyes were still open. I had just missed him.  Still, I held his hand again, and said, “I love you, Daddy.”

My Heavenly Father had, in a miraculous way, kept His promise.  Whatever that seizure was, God allowed a moment in time for my dad to be aware, and our friends to be there at just the right time, so he could believe in Jesus and receive Him, and I could have that assurance.  That was just five days before he stood before the Lord, washed clean of his sins, and was welcomed with open arms. The peace and joy that had always alluded him in this life was now his forever.

I think about the day I’ll see him again when nothing, and no one, will ever separate us again, and I thank my Heavenly Father for this most precious of gifts.

Eternally Grateful,

 

 

Sunday Praise and a Prayer to Not Grow Weary

Dear Heavenly Father,

We praise you, Lord, for who you are, for all you’ve done, for all you’re doing, and for all you will do. You’ve done so much good in and through us, Lord. Help us to not grow weary in doing good to others. The world will often not notice, or care, or appreciate the good we do, but help us remember we don’t do it for the applause of people, but to glorify you. 

Help us remember to keep loving even when people don’t love us back, to show mercy even when mercy is not shown back to us, to offer grace, even when it’s not offered back to us. Lord, help us to keep abiding in you so that we can be filled with your strength and courage to love, to show mercy, to give grace, in whatever ways you would have us live those out, remembering that we’re doing it all for you, not for others, and not for ourselves. 

Help us to move away from our natural desires to fit in with and act like the world around us, and instead walk and act in the Spirit, being willing to stand out from the world, living boldly for you and magnifying your holy Name. Renew our hearts now, Lord, as we go into this week, ready to do the good you call us to do, knowing that if we don’t give up there is a precious harvest waiting prepared by you. Thank you, Lord. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

How to Forgive the Unforgivable

So, what do we do until then?  What do we do until the day we see our Lord face to face and He makes all things right like I talked about last time?  Life is unfair and full of injustices.  Small ones, big ones, some as big as tidal waves.  And they can hurt and wound and leave us bleeding.  They can scar our hearts into a hardened mass that can’t (or won’t) feel anything.

Just like God’s given our bodies the ability to heal, He’s also provided a way to heal our hearts – forgiveness.

Now, you might be sitting there thinking, “Right, she doesn’t know what that person did to me.  There is no way I can forgive that.”  And you’re right, I don’t know the particular ways you’ve been hurt, and you’re also right on count #2, you can’t forgive them. Not completely. At least not on your own you can’t.

But I do know a little bit about forgiveness, and I’m going to tell you my story and how I was able to forgive the unforgivable.

I came to know Christ as my Savior when I was 26 years old. And yes, that was longer ago than I’d like to think about. I was radically saved, filled to the brim and overflowing with the Holy Spirit and joy and excitement and desire to do God’s will.

I sat in my spot in church two times a week (three during women’s bible study season), and soaked up every teaching.  After a while I began to notice one particular theme that stuck my heart every time, and that was of forgiveness, and that it was a choice.

I knew there was something from my past that had wounded me deeply and the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart telling me that I needed to forgive this person or the pain of it would severely affect my heart, my family, and my life.

Several years before, I had been raped.  Grabbed off the street by someone I didn’t know.  The nightmares and heightened awareness and fear of my surroundings haunted me. Classic PTSD. How could I forgive that?

Of course, in my flesh, I didn’t want to. I couldn’t. But I was determined to do God’s will. And if He was convicting me to do it then He must know I can.

 

“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25

 

If I had truly been forgiven, saved, and filled with the Holy Spirit, then the power to forgive lives in me through the Holy Spirit and He would give me the ability to do it.  

So I began to sit on my bed, time after time, and pray.  I prayed out of sheer obedience to my Lord. “Lord, I choose to forgive that man. Please help me forgive Him.”  The words came out of my mouth, prayer after prayer, as if by rote.

And about the third or fourth time I prayed that prayer, I suddenly heard myself saying “I don’t know what I’m doing by not forgiving Him.” 

That, my friends, was the Lord.  It was His Spirit, His power, His ability to forgive, answering my prayers, honoring my willingness, and forgiving him through me.

And suddenly, I felt it.  I felt like I had forgiven him.  God had moved from my head into my heart the realization that any unforgiveness I chose to hold over him was only hurting myself, my family, and my life.  It was done.

The nightmares began to subside, and so did the involuntary jerking of my head to the left whenever I saw something move in my peripheral vision. The PTSD has lessened, but I can’t say it’s completely gone.

There are just some things that make a mark on our souls that won’t be completely healed until God rids us of our mortals bodies, along with their wounds, and clothes us with the immortal.

I’ve had lots of other opportunities to forgive since then. Praise God nothing along those same lines. But here’s the thing: whenever I hear another teaching about forgiveness, or I’m praying to forgive wounds, thinking about all the hurts that still need to be forgiven, that particular wound never comes to my mind.  Ever. It’s done.

It’s so done that I’ve been able to pray for that man’s salvation, knowing that he is created and loved by God just like I am.

Forgiveness is the balm that heals the scars of our hearts.

Yes, it was wholly unfair.  But what the enemy meant for evil, God has used for good.  He’s used it to teach me about forgiveness; He’s used it to give me more compassion for people who are hurting, and I pray He’s using it now as I write this and then as you read it.

I pray it gives you courage, through the power of Christ, to forgive the unforgivable. No, healing may not come quickly. Forgiveness is often a process. But keep praying, in faith, so that you can exchange pain for His glory, and grief for His joy. If you need prayer, I would be more than honored to pray for you.  

I pray that what the enemy meant for evil in your life, you will, by choice, through obedience, let Him use it for good.  And in doing so, we share in the sufferings of Christ, becoming even more bonded to Him, knowing just a little bit about what He did to forgive us.

Grace and Peace,

Sunday Praise and a Prayer For Our Sanctification

Dear Heavenly Father,

We praise your holy and precious name. Lord, we thank you for our sanctification.  Thank you for loving us enough to work with us and see us through the process of becoming more and more like your Son.  Yes, it takes trials and tribulations of all kinds, and I know you hurt when we hurt, but you also see what you’re making us to be, how you’re molding our hearts into something beautiful, how you’re permanently changing our souls to conform to you.  Though we can’t see it, we trust you and thank you for your perfect plan.  Thank you for preparing us for our eternal home with you.  Please give us courage and strength as we go through that spiritual metamorphosis, through the pain and sorrow and grief, and in it may you also give us times of refreshing, and a deep down hope and joy that act as an anchor to our souls to keep us grounded in you. Fill us with your Spirit, Lord, and as we daily nail our sins to the cross, may He flow through us as a holy river, overflowing with love and joy on all we meet. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, amen.

Yes, There Are Injustices in This Life, But…

I like court shows.  And Datelines and 20/20s and documentaries where the guilty person is finally proven guilty and pays for their crimes, or where an innocent person who was wrongly convicted finally goes free.

I love justice and truth.  But the more shows I watch the more I see that justice is not always served in this lifetime.

There is one court show I occasionally watch where there are three judges who hear each case.  So many times they don’t all agree.  Two will come to the same conclusion, but one will dissent from the others. How can that happen? They all heard the same case, they’re all sworn to deliver justice, but somehow, someway, they come to different conclusions.  Was justice actually served?  Was the verdict correct because the majority agreed, or did the one lone holdout have the correct verdict? Three judges, two conclusions.

Or, a whole jury hears the same trial, convicts, and then later the conviction is proven wrong and overturned.

Makes you wonder how many innocent people have been convicted, and how many guilty people have gone free.

Or, closer to home, there are doctors who misdiagnose, friends, family, spouses, or children who misjudge or mistreat us, basic human rights go unmet, and now, what is all too common, an entire internet of people who, virtually overnight, will rashly judge, convict, and verbally carry out their harsh sentences.

I have a dear friend who, years after we had gotten to know each other, confessed to me that when she first met me she thought I was “stuck-up.”  I’m not exactly sure what made her believe that, but oh boy was she wrong.

Parents may have warned us that life isn’t fair, and they were right.

And maybe, especially when we’re hurting very deeply, we wonder why God hasn’t answered our prayers, and if God hasn’t made the wrong decision, too.

It can seem as if we’re suffering unjustly, and the truth is, maybe we are.

Jesus did.  He didn’t deserve to be nailed to a cross, every nerve in his body searing with pain, heaving to fill his lungs with even the slightest bit of air, a mob of people standing before him who have rashly judged and convicted him and were verbally carrying out their harsh sentences.

It was wholly unjust, but here’s the thing: it was right. In God’s sight it was good because of what He was doing through it, and though no one knew it at the time, it would have an effect, a purpose more meaningful than any other act of injustice ever would.

God has the power to do that.

So if you’re suffering unjustly right now, remember the cross.  Remember that the glory Christ’s Heavenly Father brought about through His suffering, our Heavenly Father can and will do through ours.

He saw His Son suffering unjustly, and He sees everything that’s happened or is happening to us. Nothing escapes Him. He is compassionate and understanding toward us and always knows the right thing to do, because He is the Righteous Judge. He is right 100% of the time.

In fact, there are three Persons to the Godhead: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and they never disagree.  There are never instances where One dissents from the conclusion of the other Two. There is no miscarriage of justice that He doesn’t see and that will not be paid for, either through His Son’s work on the cross, or through judgment in the next life.

And there is no suffering, no injustice, no unfairness – whether He allows it to continue or stops it, whether He heals or doesn’t heal, whether He restores a relationship or doesn’t, whatever the case may be – that He cannot use for His glory and make something out of it more beautiful than we can ever imagine.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.  For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.” Romans 8:18-21

God is using those painful circumstances (if we let Him) as a holy fire in our hearts to burn off the sin that would separate us from Him, steal our peace, cause us pain, and probably injustice in another person’s life.

I’m glad my friend eventually changed her mind, and I’m glad my Father sees my heart, my life, and will use all my painful circumstances, those done to me and by me, when given to Him at the foot of the cross where all sin goes to die, to create in me and through me something beautiful.

 

And my pain is just one piece of the puzzle. When we stand before Him and all our puzzle pieces are put together, we’ll see the whole picture, and know that truth and love and righteousness has prevailed because we have the Perfect Judge who judges rightly every single time.

I’ve watched those stories where someone was wrongly convicted and spent 10, 20, 30 years in prison, and then those people are proven innocent and released.  Almost every time, when asked if they’re bitter because of the time spent in prison, with a huge smile on their face, they say no. They’re just happy it’s over and now they’re free.

It will be that way with us when we’re released from our time spent here, having suffered all kinds of trials, and we see our Savior face to face. All the pain will be gone, and we’ll just worship Him and rejoice that we’re finally free. And I’m convinced that somehow, someway, our Father will more than make it up to us.

Sometimes the state will pay restitution to someone who’s served time unjustly.  In some cases millions of dollars. If human beings do that, imagine what our Heavenly Father has planned for those who love Him, who trust Him through the injustices we face here, knowing our Righteous Judge will more than make everything whole and right and perfect in the end.

So take those injustices and give them to our Righteous Judge.  Give Him those circumstances, that pain, those people, and let Him judge rightly. Then hold onto Christ. Hold onto Hope. It may seem like a long time away, but it isn’t.  Justice is coming, and all things will be made right.

 

Happy Mother’s Day

Dear Heavenly Father,
I pray for every woman reading this, no matter what stage of motherhood they’re in today. You’ve blessed us all with your nurturing spirit, and we thank you for that blessing. May we use it, wherever we are, for your honor and glory. And may every woman know how much they’re loved. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

Happy Mother’s Day!

 

 

Our Redeemer Lives

The Place of Victory

“And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly…”
Luke 22:44

 

I grew up in a small, older house on a hill that had one unusual but useful feature: a sundeck.  When things got especially stressful inside the house, which they often did, and I wanted to run away, I’d walk outside and up the stairs to my solitary place on the roof.  There I sat alone and quiet, as far away from my troubles and the world as I could get, looking out over the valley below.

As I grew older and was able to get away from the house, without really realizing it, I carried my sundeck inside me. And when life got rough, which it often did, I’d run away by crawling inside myself, alone and quiet.

Even after Christ came into my heart, there have still been times when circumstances were so overwhelmingly painful that I did what I always did – withdrew inside myself, running away from the world, even from God.

There I’d sit, alone and quiet, where thoughts and anxiety replaced words.

But words are sometimes necessary for prayer. And without prayer I’d effectively shut God out of my circumstances, out of my pain, and out of my answers.

There can be no more painful trial than what Christ faced in the garden as He prayed about the speeding train that was coming straight for Him – arrest, rejection, torture, and death. Death on a cross.

A death that would cause Him, a perfect man who had never known the guilt and shame of sin, to feel more than an agonizing death, but the weight of every sin that had ever or would ever be committed.

If there were ever a darkness to descend on someone that could cause anxiety and a loss for words, this was it.

“And being in anguish…”

This was not just anxiety or worry.  The Greek word for anguish is agonia, meaning agony, and it comes from another word agone, which is “a place of assembly (as if led), that is, a contest (held there); an effort or anxiety – conflict, contention, fight, race.”

Christ had withdrawn to the garden as He faced the darkest, bleakest time of His life, but not to shut out the world, to run to His Father.  To pray, and not just any prayer. This was a fight.

He agonized with the conflict in His own humanity, asking His Father if it was His will that He would remove the suffering, and He fought against the enemy.

But the harder the prospect of deep suffering pressed in to Him and the anguish weighed on Him, the harder He pressed into the Father.

He prayed more earnestly.

The more He struggled the more intently and more fervently He prayed, so much that He sweat drops of blood falling to the ground.

By the time He left the garden of olive trees, He was strengthened in His Spirit, one with the Father, and resolute in His purpose.  He was ready.

Because He turned to His Father, He went through the suffering and was victorious in accomplishing His will, for the joy set before Him…

Sometimes in our anguish we are tempted to turn to other things.

This world offers a million things and people and ways to get through our times of suffering.

But only one way will bring us through suffering even more strengthened, more courageous, and in the end victorious, and that is by pressing into God through prayer.

Sometimes all we have in prayer are groans, but even then the Holy Spirit knows our hearts and our minds and is able to interpret those groans and intercede to the Father on our behalf. He knows what we need even when we do not. All we need to do is show up.

Christ found victory in the garden through prayer before He ever saw the cross, and we’ll find victory, too, if we’ll show up in our garden, our sundeck, our closet, wherever we seek the Lord and His will and provision, and pray.  Don’t mull, don’t pout, don’t feel sorry for ourselves, and don’t try to figure it out on our own.

Pray.  With whatever faith we have, enter into the throne room of God by the blood of Christ and pray the boldest prayers we know how.

Prayer is the avenue that gives us His strength to keep believing in the darkest trials, to line up our will with God’s, to fill us with His peace, and to give us a vision of the joy set before us…

Christ showed us the way in the garden.  And because He was victorious, in death and in life, so are we.  His joy was to bring reconciliation and relationship between the Lord and us. His joy was to know us now and forever.

And our joy, if we’ll seek Him even in our darkest times, especially in our darkest times, is to be more than conquerors.  To conquer our sins and our fears on the backs of those trials, and through it all to know Christ, our Redeemer, our Savior, our Friend, now and forever.

“Are your ears awake? Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches. I’m about to call each conqueror to dinner. I’m spreading a banquet of Tree-of-Life fruit, a supper plucked from God’s orchard.”
Revelation 2:7 The Message

 

How Can Salt Lose Its Saltiness?

I ask myself this question every time I come across these words of Jesus –

“You are the salt of the earth.
But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again?
It is no longer good for anything,
except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”
Matthew 5:13

So, how does salt lose its saltiness?

What was Jesus telling us?

We mostly use salt now to make great burgers and to bring out all the good flavors in our food, but in Jesus’ day, salt was very important and used for many things.  Besides being used to flavor food, it was also used to preserve food, to heal, and as currency, or trade.  (The word salary comes from the Latin word salarium, the root word of which is sal.)  And it’s essential to our health.

Mountainside by the Sea of Galilee

When Jesus sat on the mountainside teaching by the Sea of Galilee, not far from the salt-filled Dead Sea, the people who were listening had a much fuller, richer understanding of the metaphor “you are the salt of the earth.” And my guess is they would have also understood how salt could lose its saltiness and what a horrifying thought that was.

Salt is made up of a number of chemical compounds, but what it is mostly, what makes it salty, what makes it useful, is sodium chloride, which is very stable and will keep its usefulness for years.

But…

If salt is exposed to water, or diluted, the sodium chloride can be dissolved and removed, and the salt will lose its essence, or saltiness. It still looks like salt, but it’s no longer useful.

We, too, can look the same on the outside, but if we let our faith become weak, we’ll lose our usefulness in the kingdom of God.

So how can we, being the salt of the earth, lose our saltiness?

How can we lose our usefulness?

There are a million ways, but it all comes down to letting our faith become diluted.

Watered down. Weak. Tasteless. Flat.

“But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith
and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love
as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ
to bring you to eternal life.”  Jude 1:20

Jude writes an impassioned letter to his fellow believers warning them that wolves have always, and will always slip in among the sheep, and will corrupt them and their faith if they’re not careful.  The ungodly “pervert the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord.”  (Jude 1:4)

In this age of television, computers, and smartphones, we no longer need to wait for the godlessness of the world to physically come in among us.  The world comes at us constantly, and the more we allow it, the more we become steeped in it, the more we’ll begin to look like it, think like it, and believe like it.

Not only are there people who pervert the gospel itself, sometimes even calling themselves Christians, all around us there is a pervasive attitude of anger, hatred, judgment, unforgiveness, self-righteousness, salaciousness, among others.  The apostle Paul warned about this explicitly in his second letter to Timothy.  

God’s Word warns us over and over to be careful of allowing any false beliefs, no matter how subtle or how good or even inspirational they may sound, to water down the true gospel, and our faith.

Every day we have to be vigilant and spiritually discerning of what is true and what is not, and

“not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Rom. 12:2)

And by doing that we are able to build ourselves up as Jude exhorts us, and

“…make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.” (2 Peter 1:5-9)

The same word Jude used for holy faith is used for the Holy Spirit, in whom we are to pray at all times.  He enables us to worship God over the world and ourselves, to seek God’s will above our own, to repent of our sins and be cleansed and made holy, set apart for the work of God. 

Unless we’re walking in Him we will revert right back to walking in our flesh, to living for the world and for ourselves, and in that state we cannot be useful in spiritual things.

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in Him, rooted and built up in Him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.  See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ.”  (Colossians 2:6-8)

If we ever wonder what God’s will for us is, it must include this: “…to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”  James 1:27b

And whatever we do, we cannot allow anyone, especially those who have set themselves up as pastors or other type of spiritual leader, no matter how popular they are, to water down the truth in the Word of God and our faith. 

“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what they itching ears want to hear.” 2 Timothy 4:3-4

Sometimes popularity comes at the expense of the truth that most don’t want to hear.  Watering down the truth, appealing to our flesh, is exactly what the enemy will use to weaken our faith and our witness. 

So, let’s determine to look and be more like Christ and less like the world, to live our lives worthy of the calling we have in Christ who paid for us with a hefty price. 

Let’s be worth our salt. 

Lesson From a Rescue – #2

 

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18

 

It’s been almost two years since we rescued our furry, four-legged friend, and it continues to be apparent that he rescued us right back.  The last time I talked about how the Lord used Rocky to remind me that no matter what, God never tires of loving us or taking caring of us.  That He will continue to rescue us until that day He rescues us for the last time and takes us home to be with Him forever.  And recently He reminded me of that once again.

 

As much as I hate it, there are still times when the pain I’m feeling is so deep, so encompassing, so overshadowing, that I wonder where God is.  Is He still there?  Does He see me?  Does He know what’s going on and how much pain I’m in?

Recently I’d been suddenly faced with some new health issues, on top of an already far-too-full plate of them, and I was overwhelmed with it all.  They were bigger than my brain could handle and I didn’t know what to do.  I’d been running to try to stay ahead of them, but they caught up to me one day and I broke down in tears.

My bedroom door was closed and Rocky was at the other end of the house.

When I was finished, I knew when I opened the door Rocky would be right there. He always is.

And sure enough he was right there, waiting for me to open the door.  His rescued heart knows what pain is and somehow he understands when someone needs a comforting friend.

I immediately thought that if a dog with a brain the size of a walnut and a heart not much bigger is right there whenever I need comforting, how much more is my Abba Father who sent His only Son to die for my sins and filled me with His Holy Spirit near to me when my heart is broken?  And how much more will He rescue me when my spirit is humbled?

Sometimes I just need to open the door of my heart, to look up from the cloud of confusion and pain, to see that He is there.  And even in those times I don’t see or hear or feel Him, I can know He’s there, just on the other side of the door, because I am called to walk by faith and not by sight.  Sometimes pain is designed to be overwhelming, bigger than we can handle, so our faith will grow bigger than our need for sight.

The Friend we have in Christ knows what it’s like to suffer, to be in pain, and even to cry out to His Father, asking where He is.  He understands our pain and is compassionate toward us.  I’m convinced that when we’re prostrate on the ground in grief, He’s down there with us, holding us, and crying out to the Father on our behalf.

Rocky is my furry little illustration of that.

But the Friend we have in Christ knows our heart and our pain, inside and out, and His love and compassion bring Him near and rescue us, now and forever.